My Boyfriend Keeps Breaking Promises

The Story

My boyfriend keeps making promises about our future, and I want to believe him. We talked about moving in together by December, but that deadline has passed. Now he's talking about May, and I still don't see any clear progress. He says he wants the same future I do, so why does it feel like I'm always the one waiting?

Even the smaller promises have started to matter. I said I'd like to receive flowers once in a while, and he offered to bring them regularly. But months passed without a single flower. Then he started bringing flowers every week, and for a moment I really thought things had changed. After about six weeks, though, that stopped too.

We've talked about this more than once. He apologizes and says he'll do better. I believe he genuinely wants to make an effort. But now, when I hear another promise, instead of feeling excited, I find myself wondering what will actually happen.

Cast Your Vote

Why does my boyfriend keep breaking his promises?

He may lack a concrete plan or simply forget.He may make promises too easily that he can't keep.He may not prioritize the things that matter to his partner.

What's Your Take?

Perspectives from the Lumieny editorial team

I don't think it's reasonable to keep making the same promises after your partner has explained how much being let down hurts. Anyone can be busy or forget things. But when it happens repeatedly, the person waiting pays the price. Wouldn't it be more considerate to say you can't do something than to promise what you won't deliver?

Failing to keep one promise doesn't mean someone doesn't care about their partner. Some people genuinely mean it when they offer to do something, but overestimate their time or ability to plan. That doesn't excuse disappointing someone. But rather than accusing him of not loving you, this could be a problem to address with smaller commitments and realistic timelines.

What bothers me more than occasionally forgetting a plan is how the same apology seems to reset everything without anything changing. If one person has to keep checking whether a shared plan is moving forward, they're doing all the emotional and practical management too. That imbalance becomes a problem in its own right, separate from the original promise.

I'd be willing to give him another chance if he stopped making big, vague promises and started taking concrete action. 'I'll take care of it' isn't a plan. Checking dates together or letting someone know early that something won't work is different. I think accountability can be learned if both people are willing to address this recurring issue honestly.

I'd look at which promise he broke and what happened afterward. Forgetting a dinner reservation is different from repeatedly postponing a major decision about living together. Does he acknowledge the inconvenience, tell you early, and make steady progress? Those details matter more than treating every broken promise as trivial or seeing each one as proof that he doesn't love you.

What do you think?

Statistics

People Who Said a Partner Had Broken Their Trust

60.2%

Trust was broken

39.8%

Other responses

In a 2022 Couply survey of more than 1,500 members, 60.2% said that a romantic partner had broken their trust. The survey found that a substantial share of respondents had experienced broken trust in a romantic relationship.

Couply · 2022 relationship trust survey · More than 1,500 Couply users View original

Other People’s Experiences

He Keeps Postponing Our Move and Breaking Smaller Promises

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 26. We've been together almost three years, and we talked about moving in together by December 2025. But it didn't happen. Now we're talking about moving in May, yet I still don't see much progress. We both have savings, but he seems comfortable living with his family while I want to move out.

There were smaller promises too. I said I'd appreciate flowers sometimes, and he said he'd buy them every month. But months went by without any, even when my grandmother passed away. Then in January he started bringing flowers every week and said he'd keep it up until May. He kept that promise for about six weeks, then stopped again.

We've already talked about this recurring problem. He apologized and said he'd change. I appreciated the effort he made for a while, but I don't know how much longer I have to wait before I can believe the change will last.

Reddit · r/relationship_advice · March 30, 2026 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

He Promises to Do the Chores, but I End Up Doing Everything

My boyfriend and I have been together almost three years and lived together for about two. When we moved in, we agreed to split the chores. He works longer hours, so I agreed to do more. I take care of my bathroom and most of the shared spaces, while his responsibilities are relatively small, mainly his bathroom and gaming desk.

But every week I finish my tasks while his are left undone. We've talked about it many times. Thinking he might simply be forgetful, I even made a chore chart showing who does what. He can choose which day to finish his chores, but I still end up having to remind him.

He promises to do better, and I keep looking for ways to help him follow through. I cook, clean, shop for groceries, and plan our outings. I'm starting to feel less like his partner and more like the person managing his responsibilities.

Reddit · r/relationships · May 10, 2026 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

Another Promise to Visit That Was Never Kept

We've been together almost two years. We live in different cities in the same country, about 300 kilometers apart. We've only met in person once, last November, when I visited his city for school.

Even before that, my boyfriend had said almost every month that he would come see me, but he never did. At first I tried to understand because he's busier than I am. But now, whenever he says he's coming, I feel disappointed before I can even get excited.

A few days ago, he said he might come for Valentine's Day. So I started telling him how all those unkept promises to visit had made me feel. His text replies then became cold and less frequent. I only wanted to share what was on my mind and talk it through together. I wanted some reassurance too.

Did I say something wrong? Or has this become a relationship where even saying that broken promises hurt is difficult?

The Student Room View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

What Happened Next?

When She Said She Would Buy Her Own Flowers, He Brought a Bouquet

A woman described repeatedly asking her boyfriend to buy the flowers he had promised. He agreed that it mattered to her, but would sometimes go more than two months without bringing any. When she raised the issue again, he would buy flowers and promise to remember without being reminded, but the pattern repeated. Eventually she told him not to buy her flowers anymore and said she would buy her own. He apologized and asked for one more day. The next day he brought a bouquet, but she barely reacted. That evening they talked about why she was hurt: what she wanted was a spontaneous gesture, not a gift reluctantly brought after an argument.

Reddit · r/Advice · December 10, 2025 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

She Found Another Way to Pay and Ended the Relationship

A 27-year-old woman had been unemployed for seven months and needed $300 for a car payment. Without being asked, her boyfriend offered her $500 and repeated the offer three times, but he never sent the money. As the due date approached, she eventually borrowed money from a friend. After finding a new job and receiving her first paycheck, she paid her friend back. Because of the broken promise and other problems, she felt she couldn't rely on him in an emergency and ended the relationship.

Reddit · r/relationship_advice · January 31, 2025 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

After Repeated Broken Promises, She Warned Him She Might End the Relationship

A 17-year-old girl said her boyfriend had promised not to speed, but a location-sharing app showed him traveling at about 90 mph (145 km/h). When confronted, he first claimed that a friend had been driving, but later admitted he was the driver. She added that he had misrepresented his past dating experiences and had also broken a promise about smoking with a female coworker. She told him she would end the relationship if something like this happened again.

Reddit · r/relationships · September 3, 2022 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.

Expert Perspectives

Researchers Johanna Peetz and Lara Kammrath studied promises and follow-through in romantic relationships. They found that people who felt more strongly motivated to do things for their partners made bigger promises, but were not more successful at keeping them. Conscientiousness, self-regulation, and concrete plans were more important for following through.

Even if a boyfriend apologizes sincerely and makes another promise, his behavior may not actually change. What matters is not how passionately he promises, but what he is doing to keep that promise.

Peetz & Kammrath · Journal of Personality and Social Psychology · 2011 · View research · Summarized and adapted from the cited source.

A Moment to Reflect

Do you find yourself trying to understand why your boyfriend breaks a promise each time it happens? Maybe he was busy or simply forgot. But understanding him and having to absorb repeated disappointments are two different things.

Have you ever kept time free because you believed his promise, or given up other plans? Have you started lowering your expectations just to avoid disappointment?

Keeping his promises is your boyfriend's responsibility. You don't need to remember and check every promise for him.

When promises repeatedly go unkept, trust between two people can weaken, whatever the reason.

How many more chances you give him is your decision.

But if the relationship is to remain healthy, the repeated pattern of breaking promises needs to change.