He Barely Acknowledged Me When We Were With His Friends
I don't usually go out with my boyfriend's friends, though I've met them before. This time he invited me to spend time with them, so I went along. They knew I was his girlfriend, but we didn't really know each other.
He spent most of the time talking with them about people I didn't know. When we went to get food, he sat beside me but turned his chair toward his friends and kept talking. I barely found a way into the conversation. They also made comments about strangers walking by, and he laughed along.
When the group walked back toward their dorm, I ended up behind everyone. My boyfriend asked whether I was coming; I told him I was going back to my room. He didn't try to stop me.
In private he talks with me and gives me plenty of attention. Around his friends that day, I felt like an outsider even though he had invited me. I haven't had a chance to talk with him about it yet.
Reddit · r/relationship_advice · April 15, 2022 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.
His Tone Gets Cold Whenever He's With His Friends
My boyfriend is 30, and when it's just us he sounds warm and happy to talk with me. But when he's around his friends, the way he talks to me becomes noticeably colder. He gets louder, too, and it feels as if he's trying hard to fit in.
He went to a friend's house recently, stopped home briefly to say hello, and then went back out. He posted an Instagram story showing someone drinking. He's told me about his own drinking because I don't drink, and he'd previously cut back before occasionally drinking again.
What bothers me isn't simply that he's out with friends. It's that his voice and manner toward me seem to change. I catch myself wondering whether he's trying to act cool for them. That's my impression, not something he's admitted.
Someone pointed out that people often act differently in different groups. I can see that possibility, but I'm still trying to understand why he sounds so distant when he's with them.
Reddit · r/relationship_advice · July 19, 2020 View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.
Why Does He Become Someone Else Around His Friends?
When it's just my boyfriend and me, he's relaxed and affectionate. But when his friends are around, he sometimes starts acting arrogant or childish, and I feel like I'm watching a different person.
He'll talk about other women in a sexual way in front of his friends, saying things he never says when it's just us. That catches me off guard because he's normally caring toward me.
The strangest part is that he has admitted feeling guilty about the way he talks when his friends are there. So I'm not the only one noticing a difference.
I know people may behave differently with friends than they do with a partner. Still, I wonder whether he feels pressure to entertain them or fit in, and whether he could stop making those comments when I'm present.
The Student Room View original · Summarized and adapted from a publicly shared account.
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